i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
