did you get engaged???
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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