Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
