wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
whose ass print is on the piano?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Pooping to opera.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
