Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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