You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
