I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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