Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Blood and glitter go together right?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
