So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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