Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
