I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
