I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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