I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize