She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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