are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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