Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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