Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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