He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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