Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
