ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
