would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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