A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
