You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
