what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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