Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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