Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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