I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
