Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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