I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
this is an emotional support booty call
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize