So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
