We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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