she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
are you so shy because you have an std?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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