That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's shark week go big or go home
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
