i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
