I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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