I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
