Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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