PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
