WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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