she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Who died my cat blue again?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
