sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
