The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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