We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
