i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
don't judge my taste in strippers
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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