I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
