GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
