Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
