There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
