I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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