Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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