We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
operation have a gay friend backfired
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Of course I have a pirate flag
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
