I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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