I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
