He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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