party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
