Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
