Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
